alone time

mommy and daddy said it was time for alone time. it was national children onthare owntime weak. i do not no what that means. but i got alot of alone time in the mystery place across the hall.
i saw:
26 spiders
367 ants
8 lizards
4006 raisins

i ate:
4005 raisins
1 lizard
5 ants
26 spiders

i think this: raisins are very good they will not disappoint you. they are chewy and they have crunchy bits of dirt inthem also. sweet and good. lizards are very fast, though. very fast. i ate only one cause i caught just one. even in your mouth they move quick. they do not taste like much. a little like dirt. ants are slower but taste bitter. taste like coffee that has been used in the pot and is wet. don't eat ants. spiders are fast but they are worth the work. spiders taste like nerds candy. eat all the spiders you can.

these are noises i make by accident:
heartbeat
fart
fartbeat
thatisajoke
burp
shrieking
hoot hoot. hooooooooot.
slurping

Mostly that's all. the good thing about having alone time for a weak is that no one says to stop making noise that was an accident. the bad thing is the way my face feels after my tears have dried since no one was there to wipe them off.

a poem just for yew:

ants on the tongue
spider in your lips
gecko clawing up your throat
raisins everywhere
make a bed of raisins
draw in the ants
they bring the spiders
spiders bring geckos
geckos bring landies
landies brings nobody
nobodies
nobody
no body
thanks for visiting
uncle steven

meat at night

we went to the meat fair last week. it was the best thing i will ever get to do in my entire, whole life. you should go there, too. if you do, you get to meet the man with the fur cheeks and you get to eat a meatpop. meet pop. meat pop.

the music there is the best music in the world, and since it is the nighttime you can dance as much as you want and no one will tell you to stop. especially when daddy is also dancing. fur cheeks sang and shook, so i sang and shook. -mommy says fur cheeks has been dead for a long time, and that wasn't the real fur cheeks. i said that he was who he was, and she said he wasn't and that hewas someone else. but i insisted that he was the one singing, and she said, well, yes, he's singing, but they are not his songs, he is pretending to be someone else who was a famous man, and i said, but he is the one singing here, and everyone's watching him, so he is famous. he has shiny pants, shiny hair, shiny shirt, shiny jacket, shiny teeth. when i get teeth again, they will be like furcheeks. i will save my money and buy shiny clothes. i will go to a bowling alley and i will run from the front door and then at the line i will dive down the lane and i will slide all the way down the lane and my hair will knock down all the pins. i will walk on the streets and my clothes will shine so much that everyone will be burned to ash as i walk past them. people will go blind when i smile at them. when a bird poops on me it will slide off. not like it sticks now.

a bird pooped on me when i was chasing it outside. i was going to catch it and pet it for a while, but when it pooped on me, i was confused and went inside to look at the poop instead. here is a poem about that:

the poop
in my hair
will you dare
lay your finger there
as the lines get longer
and the gangs are getting stronger
and everyone wants to poke the poop
on my hair thats been there since last week
to see if its hard yet, its not, but it will be but not
for awhile. so gather round like you do around fur cheeks
i cannot shake like him, but theres poop in my hair and i am
gonna leave it there even though they stare from their lairs with no care
for my joy
for my joy is that i have what i have and you do not.
that is all our joy
that is why we call it joy
my cry in the night is new and goes
poop pop
tell me to stop?
poop pop
want me to not smoke?
poop pop
stop licking the window sill?
poop pop
eat solid food?
poop pop
stay awake during the day?
poop pop
wash your hair
poop pop
poop.

dingalingalingaling

not sleeping well so i decided to switch. switcharoo. switerarooaroo. i sleep in the day and wake up in time for supper. then i fall asleep after breakfast. daddy says its crazy and that hes going to take away my triangle cause it makes him crazy when i practice it in the night. but i cant practice in the day cause thats when i sleep. mommy says she likes it when i sleep all day because it costs less to take care of me now and that since mommy and daddy are home while im awake even though theyre sleeping its not negligents. cause theyre at home. i dont know the negligents rules. i just no that im awake and everyone else is asleep. i eat cereal. play the triangle. draw on the wall. draw on the wall. draw on the wall. eat more cereal. go outside and swim in the dark and eat tangerines from the trees. come inside. poke daddy and hide. poke daddy, hide. play the triangle in the clothes hamper cause its nicer in there. play the triangle in the bathtub cause its even nicer there. play it under the sink. play it standing on the couch. under the bed. outside the window. play it standing on one foot. play it with my foot.

mommy says my toes are more like fingers than they should be. that i am missing a link. i dont no. i write better with my toes than my fingers. see? this is with my fingers. This is with my magnificent toes, you will observe. the only difference to me is that i get yelled at when they see me type with my toes. that it makes the keyboard smell bad. i like the way it makes the keyboard smell.

this is a poem called night triangle.

night triangle
triangle in the night
ringing to the moon
ringing to the stars
ringing to my heart
i am music in a bathtub
i am music in the hamper
the clothes sing with me
to me
in me
through me
what are you saying that you want to taste the windowsill get away from the window stop waking me up
sing
ring
ding
wake up wake up wake up
look at landy and smell his toes
taste his catsup and be nice
what
do you think
it tastes like?

blandy

all week, daddy has called me blandy. then he laughs. idont know what it means but idont like it when he laughs that way at me. usually he does that when i say something he didnt understand. its okay. thats daddy 4 u.

last night mommy asked me which its better to be, stupid or ugly. or which would i rather be. and i said probably both. she said she thought so. but i was only joking. but she didnt get my joke. she just nodded and i think she was crying. a lot of crying these days. tears all around the clock. the crying weeping clock.

if time had eyes
they would never be dry

when things fall down

when things fall down and crack and break and loud loud loud the ear in my head says ok
so if it does not then the ear is unhappy but if it does then mom is unhappy and loud and
ear is also unhappy. that is why i wait until i am alone to break the things. all the things that make the best noises.
a list of things that make nice noises:
when they break:
coffee mugs ( nice noise)
glasses (very nice noise)
mouse pad (not as nice noise)
pencils (only when you break them, to)
cameras (nice noise, bad after math)

here is a list of things that make bad noises when they break:
my teeth

luckily i do not have to worry about hearing that again for awhile
mom said i have to write at least so many words so here is another poem:

i am landy
landy lives near the ocean
so so do i
landy lives in a house
so so do i
landy licks the light
so so must i
the light tastes like sour, like dirt, like sweet, like salt, like dead flies
so i must taste it
and so must landy
cause hes all i have
and im all hes got
its just us and the light

Welcome to the Making of the Making of the Making of the Bird Family Blog Blog Blog Blog

well mom and dad said i'd better get to work if i want to keep living in their house, or part of their house or whatever if you want to call it that. mom and dad said this was a famly project and that since i was born into the family that i might as well make myself useful and tell peopel like ant clare and uncle jim and grandma and granpa. but not to wory about grateant rosemary cuz she's a traitor to the united states of america when she moved to another country and married that tall slovakian fellow. that's what dad always sez anyhow. i never saw an slovakian so idon't see the harm in them so long as they stay off the lawn.

mom says to be sure and say hello to everyone in ohio and to say that if i'm very good then maybe we can comevisit them in the summer months but only if im good and dont bite anyone anymore. or gum them. now she says gum them. i'm not even allowed to have gum anymore cuz of the dolphin thing so whatever. yeah. so when mom makes the blog she's usually crying and when dad makes his blogs he usually shouts all the time. i mostly sit outside and rite into my notebook and when they are done with the computer i get to copy from my notebook. here is a poem:

in the nightingale's throat there rests a bee
and in this bee you will find me
small and smiling
but no more
sting
but it's ok
it's ok it's ok
it's ok it's ok it's ok
if i had teeth i'd eat the world
and everyone would yell at me

advice of the day: just because a pole looks like god, doesn't mean it deserves to be treated like him